This is quite a tough process, if your love is deep-rooted and strong. On the other hand it might be a cakewalk if your love means nothing but a time-pass for you. If your case is the former one, these are some really useful tips that can help you a great deal to recover:
Stop all forms of communication after the break up:
If your lover was true and sincere, this step should be taken after your attempts to put things back again. After correcting your mistakes or asking your partner to correct his/hers, give your partner a time span. I recommend you not to make it too long. The longer you hope and expect, the higher your sufferings will be. Once all the attempts that you can feasibly do has been done, simply stop - No phone calls, no emails, no birthday cards, nothing.
Never try to chase her/him. Never force people back into your life. You wouldnt want them to point their fingers at you and ask why did you force me back into this hell? some time in the future. Would you? Let them go if they want to. As I already said, weaker pillars might fall apart. They are in plenty in this world. You are not at all the loser. Stronger pillars may be rare. But they are definitely on the way to you. Open up your heart for them.
Stop waiting infinitely:
You can give the person some time to come back. But this should never happen to ruin your life or your mental and physical well being. Infinite waiting will! Every moment you expect the person back, he/she might be out there enjoying their lives with someone new. They may be busy planning for their great accomplishments in life. Your ex might have already got over with you and moved forward in their life, seeking new joys and horizons. Set a time limit and let go.
Experienced hands say that lost loves and buses are alike. If you missed one, another is definitely on the way. Never desperately run after the one you just missed, however valuable it seems. If they simply walked away erasing all the memories they had about you, it means they can do it at any point in their lives. You might have been a small piece in their whole jigsaw puzzle like life. You want to spend a life time with such a kind of person? You want your life to be a puzzle? If he/she could forget you, it is mandatory that you should do the same
Keep his/her belongings away:
There may be tons of gifts and letters that he/she might have given you. If you are highly inclined to keep looking back at them now, you are not likely going to forget any memories. If that is the case, simply put them on fire. But if you are quite strong, I would advice you to keep all those belongings with you. But never go back to them until some time pass by. After a while, have a look at those rubbles of your temple of love. All these thoughts that hurt you now are going to be strange but sweet memories when you move forward in your life.
Several times have I read through my whole collection of love letters my ex wrote for me and smiled thinking how stupid I was once for having believed all those intoxicating sentences. I assure you - it doesnt hurt. It simply gives a different sort of feeling. May be a feeling of pride for having learned so much and come so far.
Avoid all chances of meeting your ex:
Avoid places you two used to frequent and restaurants where you used to hang out. Avoid any occasion in which there is a chance for you to bump into your ex. Keeping away from seeing can help a lot in getting the memories out of your head.
Stop reading between the lines:
The moment your ex leaves you, your mind starts framing a thousand probabilities and possibilities, which would mostly be nothing but your own illusions. Dont let your mind find false-hope in something your ex does. If your ex has sadistic attitudes he/she might even try to hurt you by attracting and provoking you after the break up. Please dont interpret these as her willingness to return or as reasons for some hope.
Original article can be read at: http://www.sajuonline.com/Pages/Articles/relationship/Break-up-advice/break-up-recovery-advice-page1.htm
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